It has been a long time since I have posted. Life was starting to even out and I was settling into the grind of working as much as possible and going to school while still trying to have any sense of a social life. On January 18th, I filed for divorce. It was three months since Ross had left. Something interesting started happening. All of the sudden Ross decided that he wanted to come back. Why after three months did he decide he wanted to come back? Well, I have my theory. A side of the story that most of you havent heard. I know that he has been talking to people from church asking them to pray for restoration of our marriage. I have been largely silent on the subject because I didnt want to deal with the drama. Quite frankly, I've had enough. Im tired of being made out to be the bad guy because I don't want to get back together with him. After all he has done, no one who actually knows the story would blame me. I am not going to get on here and air all of our dirty laundry, but just know that some of you have been very quick to judge about the situation and not a single one of you has even talked to me about it. That is hurtful.
I will continue to pursue a divorce. God has blessed me immensely through this situation and I do not believe that I am outside of His will in this situation. Not one time, has Beau or I suffered even though I am the ONLY ONE providing for our son. This situation IS what is best for Beau and me. I am a 21 year old single mother, going through a divorce, working 50+ hours a week, and still managing to pursue my degree. You dont have to understand or even agree with my situation, but please do not judge me.
It seems that human nature would naturally provide the answer to at least one of the problems here. Others are always quick to judge because it has always been easier to destroy than to create. It takes hardly nothing to meet an acquaintance and for them to spread nasty rumors or socially down you. The best thing to do is to look the other way because usually the people that are judging are so confused in their own way they wouldn't know how to look at your situation in the first place. Thereby, making their opinions and or actions irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteIt takes real initiative, honesty and a will to share experiences to create and maintain friendship. I am very careful who I call friend because there will be some people out there that will try to "Compete" with your hardships while others will express sympathy but not make any type of effort to help. I have ran into many of those types of "friends".
The true friends are the ones that will not only listen, but try to understand, let you know what they know about it and help if they can. I have a few friends that I call brother because they were there when I needed them, I was there when they needed me and they never tried to down me, talk behind my back or hurt the people and things I love dearly.
Now as far as that divorce, it is always hard. I do not know the details but I can share some insight in to what I know. Melissa divorced her Ex husband because he cheated on her and did not provide anything for her. For diapers and food for the week he handed her $20 and said "make it last" while he went and bought computer parts for himself. Selfishness, un-reliability, and unfaithfulness can rarely be turned around as a leopard cannot change it's spots. I lot of women statistically go back to the man they love because they want to stay with them. But the reality is most of these men that express these negative values treat the women with respect than ever before.
Careful! I think staying your course is a smart one, and some good advice woudl be to contact his commanding officer as well. the Armed Forces has certain (provisions) for men who do not provide for their families. If he is even reserve he is liable under the UCMJ which will get him deep in dutch if what your saying is true about you being the only one who provides for Beau. I Love you girlie, and remember, you always got me here if you need to talk. If you dont have my number, ask your mom she'll give it to you. --Uncle Dee